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ANNUAL DARWIN AWARDS

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+8 (8 votes)

THE 2016 DARWIN AWARDS
You’ve been waiting for them with baited breath, so without further ado, here are the 2016 Darwin Awards:

Eighth Place
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who “totally zoned when he ran”, accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place
While at the beach a 21 year old male, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place
A 24 year old male was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place
A 26 year old male, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.

The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION
A 47 year old male and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed.

RUNNER UP
This dummy had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope.This dummy, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman’s cable lay nearby. They secured one end around this man’s leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. His foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS
Zookeeper who fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs, and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated male, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.

The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked him to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves..poop happens

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Super Bowl Suit

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+8 (8 votes)

Claimant sued the bar and the super bowl team who lost when she became angry at an interception, dropped her beer onto the floor, causing injury to her foot from broken glass. The complaint was never properly served on the football team and she settled with the bar’s insurance carrier for a small sum. Don’t invite this Claimant to your Super Bowl party!

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50 BUILDINGS HOLDING ONIONS COLLAPSE IN THE SNOW WHICH MAY RESULT IN HIGHER ONION PRICES

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+8 (8 votes)

NYSSA — Heavy snow has caused dozens of onion storage sheds in eastern Oregon and Idaho to collapse, resulting in as much as $100 million in damage.

About 50 onion buildings collapsed under the weight of up to 40 inches of snow, reported The Capital Press. The general manager of Owyhee Produce in Nyssa, Oregon, said three of the company’s storage sheds and a building housing one of its packing lines have collapsed.

“It’s an absolute catastrophe,” said Shay Myers, the Owyhee manager. He estimated that the total damage to the onion industry in southwestern Idaho and Malheur County, Oregon, could be near $100 million.

The region’s 300 onion farmers produce more than 1 billion pounds of Spanish big bulb onions annually, or about 25 percent of the nation’s big bulb storage onions. A big chunk of last year’s harvest, however, was lost in the building collapses. Once the onions are exposed to the cold and freeze, they are no good.

The production loss has dramatically increased the price of onions. A 50-pound bag of yellow jumbo onions was about $3.50 before the collapses and is now nearly $10.

Partners Produce co-owner Eddie Rodriguez said his company has lost four buildings, including its main packing line in Payette, Idaho.

“They’re still going down as we speak,” he said. “Now, it’s just happening everywhere. The snow is heavy and there’s too much of it.”

Onion industry leaders have asked state and local representatives to help find assistance for the region. An estimated 150 buildings have been destroyed.

“I’ve personally seen at least 40 collapsed buildings, probably more,” said state Rep. Cliff Bentz, an Ontario Republican. “It really looks like they were hit by a bomb. It’s really shocking.”

U.S. Sens. Ron Wyden and Jeff Merkley, both Democrats, have asked the federal government to begin a process that would result in a federal disaster for Malheur County and other counties harmed by the severe winter. That would make farmers and businesses eligible for low-interest loans, insurance relief and other disaster aid.

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RIPPED STRAIGHT FROM THE HEADLINES SAN DIEGO COUNTY’S LARGES FRAUD SCHEMES

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+7 (7 votes)

investigation into what is being billed as one of the largest workers’ compensation insurance fraud schemes uncovered in the county’s history has swept up additional medical professionals throughout Southern California.

Chiropractors, a radiologist, a pain management physician, a medical equipment provider and others are accused in 13 new indictments of playing varying roles in a bribery scheme that bought and sold patients like commodities, the District Attorney’s Office said Thursday. The investigation uncovered nearly a half-million dollars in kickback payments resulting in millions of dollars in fraudulent workers’ compensation insurance claims, authorities said.

The indictments come as the investigation into the scheme continues to expand. The first wave of arrests occurred in November and involved federal charges.

On Wednesday, more than 100 law enforcement officers in three counties served early morning arrest and search warrants at seven locations, authorities said. Nine people have been arrested and two remain at large.

According to prosecutors, a group of recruiters would entice workers — many of them seasonal workers who lived abroad at times — to file workers’ compensation claims. The recruiters were identified as Fermin Iglesias and Carlos Arguello, who operated Providence Scheduling, Medex Solutions, Prime Holdings International and Meridian Rehab Care, and administrator Miguel Morales.

They would advertise in the U.S. and Central America via flyers or cards stuck on windshields to contact a call center if a worker has been injured on the job and needs help filing a claim, said Assistant U.S. Attorney Alana Robinson.

The recruiters would then refer the patients to specific doctors in Southern California, who would in turn prescribe certain medical tests and treatment — such as chiropractic, MRIs, pain management, echo cardiograms and even sleep studies — to companies in return for kickbacks, she said. The bribes were usually $50 to $100 per patient, court records show.

The bribes were done without the patients’ knowledge.

“It was all predetermined even before the patient came along,” Robinson said at a news conference Thursday.

The treatment was then billed to various insurance companies, including Liberty Mutual and Hartford.

Chiropractors would be required to fill a monthly quota of referrals or their patient pipeline and bribes would be cut off, authorities said. In one instance, San Diego chiropractor Steven Rigler was warned that he’d fallen $60,000 behind in referrals for procedures and he’d be cut out of the operation unless he wrote the organization a $20,000 to $30,000 check, according to the latest federal indictment.

Rigler has already pleaded guilty, as well as San Diego workers’ compensation attorney Sean O’Keefe.

One of the clinics implicated is Crosby Square Chiropractic, where Rigler worked, which has offices in San Diego, Escondido and Calexico, prosecutors said. Other medical professionals indicted are chiropractors Amir Khan of Orange and David C. Nguyen of Huntington Beach, and pain management Dr. Phong H. Tran of Irvine. Dr. Ronald Grusd of Los Angeles, who was charged federally last year, is also included in a new state indictment.

Authorities called the scheme especially sophisticated, involving intelligent professionals who knew how to cover their tracks.

“But these criminals got greedy,” said District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis, referring to the enterprise’s effort to expand throughout Southern California.

The FBI, the lead agency on the case, used an undercover agent to infiltrate the scheme, said Eric Birnbaum, special agent in charge of the FBI in San Diego.

Deputy Commissioner George Mueller of the state Department of Insurance said health care fraud is the most costly kind of insurance fraud in California — costs that get passed down to employers and taxpayers.

kristina.davis@sduniontribune.com (619) 293-1391 ? Twitter @kristinadavis

Copyright © 2017, The San Diego Union-Tribune

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DISGUSTING ACT BY A WORKER AT A BURGER JOINT

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+8 (8 votes)

A Mississippi woman looking for a late-night burger may have unwittingly gotten something extra with her order, after a drive-thru worker was accused of smearing menstrual blood and saliva on a fast food order. Sky Juliette Samuel, 18, was working the late shift at Jack’s Family Restaurant in Columbus, Mississippi earlier this month when police suspect she committed the unsanitary act.

Samuel, a mother of a young daughter, had also worked at a Krispy Kreme location just down the road from the Jack’s in Columbus, but no longer works there. The incident at the Jack’s Family Restaurant occurred on January 7 around 10.20pm.
A woman from nearby Tupelo, Mississippi pulled up to the drive-thru of the restaurant, located on a state route that runs toward her hometown, witnesses say.

Sources say the woman ordered a Sprite and a Big Jack, the southern fast food chain’s $3.69 ’signature burger,’ which it describes as ‘a big, juicy beef patty stacked up with pickles, onions, lettuce and tomato.’

But Samuel, working the drive-thru, got in some kind of dispute with the customer, a female co-worker said.
‘This woman got an attitude with Sky,’ the witness said in a text message later made public on Facebook.

Samuel responded to the perceived slight by smearing her own menstrual blood on the bread of the burger with a finger, and licking the cheese, the witness said. The coworker alerted her mother, Tabatha Hollins, who went public with the accusations after she says Jack’s Family Restaurant dismissed her private complaint to the company. ‘We called the store to try and talk to the general manager and they wouldn’t give her the numbers to get a hold of a manager. We then called corporate who again did nothing!!’ Hollins wrote on a January 10 Facebook post that has since been shared over 4,000 times.

The public post drew thousands of horrified reactions in the comments.Samuel reacted to the mounting controversy later on January 10 in a public Facebook comment that has since been deleted

The woman believed to have ordered the tainted burger heard about the accusations and came forward on January 13 to file a criminal complaint, sparking a police investigation. On January 21 police in Columbus announced an arrest warrant for Samuel on charges of ‘knowingly selling unwholesome bread or drink,’ a felony with a potential five-year jail sentence.

Daily Mail:  Keith Griffith

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SEAL MADNESS

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+8 (8 votes)

I work for a city along the California Coastline. We have an over abundance of seals that hang out on the rocks near the shore. Today we received a claim for a 14 year old that was bitten by a seal when he climbed over a fence onto the rocks to pet the seals. His parents were right there and video taped the event and submitted it with his claim. Forget that there is a sign that says do not climb on rocks. They submitted an emergency room bill and bills for a tetanus shot and one follow up care with his personal physician. These were not tourists but local residences that should be aware that they are wildlife and not bother them. I have delayed the claim but it is probably cheaper to pay the medical bills than to deny the claim.

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DOUBLE WHAMMY -TWO CLAIMS THAT TOTALED BOTH HOMEOWNERS VEHICLES ON THE SAME DAY

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+8 (8 votes)

We received a claim from an insured today at 3:30 p.m. that he had walked out of school and into the parking lot only to discover that a Huge Oak tree had fallen on his car in the parking lot and totaled his truck. We helped him contact a towing company and arranged for his car to be taken to a repair shop. At 4:30 p.m. the same day I received another call from the same insured. He was able to get a ride home from a friend only to discover that his other car that was parked in his drive way had been crushed by a fallen tree. REALLY ??? Both of his cars were totalled by trees in two different locations at the same time. Of course, we will investigate this as it is weird coincidence but this poor gentleman had a really bad day. I hope his policy is not cancelled or his premium substantially increased as it appears both his car and his truck will be a total loss.

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SHOPPING CART ON HIGHWAY

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+7 (7 votes)

Today I received an auto claim where the insured got onto the freeway and drove over to the carpool lane and hit a GROCERY CART! After she hit it it traveled over three lanes and another car hit it as well. How did a grocery cart get in the fast lane of a busy freeway? CRAZY!!!!!!

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Enter to Win Crazy Gift Cards -- Up to $100.00! You would be Crazy not to submit your bizarro claims stories for the chance to win up to $100.00 in gift cards if your story is laugh out loud funniest, cringe-worthiest or craziest. Submit your Crazy claims today -- just make sure not to use any real names of people or companies. You could be a winner!

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