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Clever Mom

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+7 (7 votes)

Claimant injured her back at work and made a work comp claim. She was off work for three months and then we discovered that her injury was actually caused by a car accident. We immediately denied her claim, which she appealed. At the hearing, Claimant was honest. She admitted that she lied about the work injury, because she wanted to take off work and get paid. She then admitted that she took the job with the plan that as soon as she had a car accident or was otherwise injured, she would go on disability. It turns out that she’s done this three times before and it’s her way of being a stay-at-home mom. She was fired.

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STORIES FROM A COURT REPORTER

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+7 (7 votes)

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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Drone Destroys Wedding

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+7 (7 votes)

Our insured was a guest at a wedding and decided to photograph it as a present to the bride and groom. He didn’t ask for permission, but rather sat in the audience and operated the drone. As the vows were being exchanged, the drone crashed onto the arch and it fell on the groom, causing minor injuries, but significantly disrupted their special day. The newly wed couple filed a lawsuit. In light of the obvious negligence of our insured, we settled the case shortly after our insured was served with the complaint.

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Climb Mountains, Not Dressers

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+5 (7 votes)

Mother left her toddler in his bedroom while she made breakfast. When she returned, the dresser had fallen on him. The toddler sustained injuries for which he was treated in a hospital, but he recovered. Mother, on her son’s behalf, filed a lawsuit against the seller and manufacturer of the dresser–our insureds. During discovery, we were provided with a video of the incident. Not only was the child left unsupervised, but all the drawers of the dresser had been left open, inviting the child to climb on them and the dresser wasn’t anchored, using the hardware that came with it. We settled the case for a smaller amount due to the parents’ contributory negligence.

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Justified Poop Flinging

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+5 (7 votes)

Plaintiff filed a lawsuit against our insured, claiming assault and battery when she flung a baggie of her dog’s poop in his face. It looked bad until we asked our insured what happened. According to her, the Plaintiff was riding a hoverboard on a sidewalk and without warning, hit and injured her dog. In response, our insured flung her dog’s poop baggie at the Plaintiff. The vet bills were significant and she had been planning on filing a lawsuit against Plaintiff.

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Clean Claim

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+3 (5 votes)

We received a workers’ compensation claim for a 42 year old WC adjuster. She filed the claim for stress and alcohol poisoning. She claimed that her supervisor was so demeaning to her that she had started to drink the hand sanitizer that had been brought into the office by vendors in an attempt to calm her nerves…

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Do Not Touch Your Eye!

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+7 (7 votes)

Plaintiff filed a lawsuit against our insured store, claiming that it was negligent in selling a nail glue without proper warnings. Plaintiff was attempting to glue a nail, but was startled and somehow touched her finger to her eye, causing the finger to be glued to her eye! She suffered severe eye damage. The case was settled through mediation.

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Say “No” to Toe Separators

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+5 (7 votes)

Claimant (our insured) drove her car into a cafe and barely missed hitting patrons. When asked why she did this, she said she had just had a pedicure and still had foam separating her toes. She was driving in sandals and attempted to remove the toe separator while driving causing her to crash. Unfortunately, we had to pay for her auto damage and the property damage up to policy limits.

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