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+6 (6 votes)

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said , ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What  school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of  the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No , I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn’t it true that when a  person dies in his sleep , he doesn’t know about it until the next      morning?
EXPERT WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have  you performed on dead  people?
WITNESS: All of them.. The live  ones put up too much of a fight.

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