1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Examination of genitalia reveals that is circus sized.
3. Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
14. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
15. She is numb from her toes down.
Submitted By: elleg on November 25, 2014
A waitress was carrying a heavy tray of glasses around the corner of a restaurant where only kitchen staff are allowed. As always, she yelled “corner.” A woman who wasn’t an employee didn’t heed the warning and plowed into the waitress, causing the tray to fall and glasses to shatter on the tile floor. The woman filed a lawsuit against the restaurant, claiming that they were negligent. At arbitration, the woman was found to be 60% comparatively negligent for walking past a large sign that said “staff only” and for walking quickly around the corner where she admitted she’d seen wait staff walking with trays full of glasses and food.
Submitted By: SoftKitty on November 24, 2014
A $9.9 million settlement has been awarded in an amusement park accident lawsuit brought by a woman who suffered traumatic brain injury when she fell from a ride.
The lawsuit alleged that the defendant’s gross negligence proximately caused the plaintiff to suffer traumatic brain injury. According to the lawsuit, the 44-year-old plaintiff fell from one of the rides owned and operated by the defendant, when the ride went into sudden deceleration. Several hours later, while at home, the plaintiff became nauseous, dizzy and began vomiting and losing neurologic functioning. Her husband rushed her to the local hospital where she underwent an emergency craniotomy.
It was later determined that the plaintiff had suffered an intracranial hemorrhage when she fell from the ride earlier that day. The long term results of the traumatic brain injury included an epilepsy seizure disorder, as well as left-sided hemiparesis and facial palsy.
The plaintiff and her husband sued the recreational amusement company for negligence, arguing overall that the reckless operation of the ride proximately caused the plaintiff to fall. Specifically, they alleged and were able to prove that the ride was being operated at twice the manufacturer’s recommended speed of 15 miles per hour. The also provided post-injury measurements of the ride being consistently operated at a speed in excess of 30 miles per hour. Additionally, the couple challenged the enforceability of the defendant’s liability waiver, suggesting it was ambiguous because its definition of “released activities” did not include the particular ride on which plaintiff was injured.
Submitted By: ireland on November 19, 2014
A man in the middle of a divorce drove the couple’s Corvette into a Philadelphia river recently. He had gone to his wife’s residence and taken the car; which was still in both their names and drove is straight into a river. He will probably be arrested on charges of reckless endangerment and illegal dumping. Since the car is in both of the couple’s names it is doubtful that they will be able to recover from their carrier.
Submitted By: Jefferson on November 18, 2014
A Texas woman whose four pit bulls entered her neighbors’ yard through a hole in the fence and killed their 10-year-old beagle is suing them for $1 million.
The woman says in her lawsuit filed this week in district court that she was “seriously injured” trying to stop the attack and retrieve her dogs. She says she suffered “multiple serious bite and scratch-type injuries” and accuses her neighbors of failing to securely confine and restrict their dog, Bailey.
She also contends she’s feeling “conscious pain and suffering and now suffers also from fear, anxiety and trepidation.”
Her 4 pit bulls killed her neighbor’s dog and she’s suing?! Crazy!
Submitted By: SoftKitty on November 17, 2014
I received a new assignment and as usual, I googled the Claimant. In doing so, I happened upon a youtube.com video of the Claimant dancing around in his underwear in a creative attempt to imitate Tom Cruz in the movie, “Risky Business”. While “dancing”, the claimant tripped over a rug and appeared to fall out of the camera’s view. I wonder if that is how the claimant really hurt his back. The car accident in question was a very minor rear-ender.
Submitted By: Crazy on November 13, 2014
A man driving drunk struck a pedestrian with his car, then drove more than a mile with the injured man ”stuck” halfway through his windshield, authorities said Wednesday.
A policeman happened to notice the car with what appeared to be a person lying on the hood. He stopped the vehicle and saw that the person was halfway through the windshield.
The victim had to be extricated by the Fire Department and First Aid Squad members. He suffered serious injuries and was flown to a nearby Medical Center where he is listed in critical condition.
Authorities say the driver was drunk when he crossed into the northbound shoulder and struck the victim who was walking.
The crazy part is that he continued operating the vehicle for approximately 1.5 miles before being located and stopped by a police officer.
Submitted By: danielle on November 12, 2014
A California woman has been charged with fraud for falsely saying she was badly scalded by McDonald’s coffee and using photos copied off the Internet to make it appear she suffered second-degree burns on her hand, officials said.
She faces 21 felony counts of fraud for filing an injury claim in which she said she was handed a cup of coffee at a McDonald’s drive-through with an improperly secured lid that allowed the hot liquid to spill on her hand, the California Department of Insurance said in a statement on Monday.
The case against her comes 20 years after a well-known product liability lawsuit in which Stella Liebeck won a $2.9 million civil judgment in New Mexico over burns she suffered at age 79 from hot coffee she bought at McDonald’s.
That judgment, which was reduced to $480,000, became the butt of jokes and for many people symbolized the problem of frivolous lawsuits, even though Liebeck suffered third-degree burns and her defenders say media commentators were wrong to make light of her suffering.
California insurance officials say this new claimant, on the other hand, has fabricated her injury claim.
She submitted an injury claim with photos she took off a hospital website of a burned hand she said was her own, and submitted bogus documentation describing treatment she said she received at a hospital, according to the Department of Insurance.
“By copying legitimate burn photos from the Internet, Edwards attempted to make a profit from another person’s pain and suffering, and for this she will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law,” California Insurance Commissioner Dave Jones said in a statement.
The Los Angeles Times reported that the claimant said she was burned during a Jan. 28, 2013, visit to a McDonald’s drive-through in Fontana and that she was seeking $10,000. She was charged by the San Bernardino County District Attorney’s Office, according to the paper.
Crime does not Pay!!!!!!
Submitted By: claims buster on November 12, 2014
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