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Drunken Golf Pro

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+2 (2 votes)

I have a psyche claim from a Golf Pro at a small golf course here in the Midwest. The allegedly injured worker has stated that he is humiliated when he goes to work. The story is that one night at about 1am he and a buddy went onto the course to “hit a few balls.” Apparently he took the liberty of taking one of the golf carts and the incredibly intoxicated golf pro drove the golf cart into a pond on the course when he tried to avoid hitting his friend (who was throwing up). The golf cart only went into about 2 feet of water and the “injured worker” slipped getting out of the cart and fell into the water. He now feels that although no one has given him a hard time about the incident everyone at his work knows about it and he is sure that they are laughing behind his back. So, since he thinks that they are laughing behind his back he feels that the alleged psychological injury should be compensable. He also stated that he now has a fear of water/drowning due to the incident and is no longer able to use his hot tub!

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STATE FARM PUBLISHES STATS ON DOG BITE CLAIMS IN 2011

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+3 (3 votes)

Top 10 States for State Farm Dog Bite Claims in 2011

State               Number of claims                             Claims paid

1. California                   527                                      $20.3 million

2. Illinois                        309                                     $10.0 million

3. Texas                         219                                       $5.1 million

4. Ohio                           215                                        $5.4 million

5. Pennsylvania            197                                        $4.9 million

6. Michigan                   181                                         $7.0 million

7. Florida                       157                                        $5.1 million

8. Indiana                      139                                        $3.5 million

9. New York                  133                                        $6.1 million

10. Minnesota               117                                       $3.5 million

It is crazy there are so many dog bite claims and the claim pay outs averages between $30,000 and $40,000.00 per BITE!

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Shrimp Shenanigans

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+3 (3 votes)

My Claimant was dining in a restaurant alone, enjoying pasta with shrimp. Unfortunately, he didn’t chew a shrimp and it became lodged in his throat. He began turning blue and his efforts to get the attention of a waiter were unsuccessful. Fortunately, a very muscular man sitting at a table nearby noticed the diner and attempted to give him the Heimlich maneuver. After multiple attempts, the shrimp was dislodged. However, the Claimant allegedly suffered injuries to his ribs, neck and back from the incident. He sued the restaurant and remarkably was awarded $250,000 by a jury who found the restaurant negligent even though the piece of shrimp that was dislodge showed very little evidence of being chewed!

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CHEF SLIPS WITH A KNIFE IN HAND AND DIES!!!!!

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+3 (3 votes)

I received a death claim for a female chef. The kitchen was flooded with orders. She was scurrying around the kitchen making numerous different breakfast orders. She was carrying a knife with a six inch blade when she slipped and fell forward. As she fell she screamed and stabbed herself and fell onto the knife. Co-workers ran to help her, but she hit a major artery and bled out before the ambulance could get there!

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You stole my sandwich dude!

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+4 (4 votes)

I have a claim for a police officer who has alleged a psychological injury as a result of his job. OK, so he’s a cop, it doesn’t seem too hard to believe that a cop might have dealt with something on his job that he feels like is a legitimate psychological “injury.” With that in mind and of course questioning the injury we did our regular recorded interview to get a better sense of why he feels that he has an injury. It turns out that he was recently arrested by his own police department for theft! Surveillance cameras in the break room showed him stealing his co-worker’s food and drinks from the refrigerator! He was placed on leave pending resolution of all of this. STUPID.

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Fashion Faux Paw

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+4 (4 votes)

Claimant tried out for a designer fashion reality show, which required the prospective contestants to sew a simple garment in a limited amount of time in a room with about 10 other prospective contestants. The Claimant was so nervous that she sewed her hand to the fabric, causing bleeding, which stained the fabric. The Claimant did not get selected to move further in the audition process. Her hand became infected and so she made a claim with the producers of the show’s insurance carrier, claiming that they were negligent. After reviewing the film of the audition, it clearly showed that the Claimant was not using the proper technique in sewing the garment. She did not seek medical care for 2 weeks after the incident and so her infection seemed to be caused by her own negligence. The claim was denied.

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Golfing Goofball

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+5 (5 votes)

Claimant insisted that he be allowed to golf even though there was a lightning storm and the golf course was closing. The golf pro told the Claimant that he would not be allowed on the golf course. Claimant argued with the golf pro and told him that it was ridiculous to close the course for a little storm. The golf pro and employees of the golf course thought that the man had heeded their warning as he drove his car out of the parking lot. The man entered the course on the 5th hole and was struck by lightning and seriously injured. He sued the golf course, alleging that they were negligent in not warning him of the danger. The golf course prevailed in a motion for summary judgment.

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A MAN IS SUING BMV AND A MOTORCYLCE SEAT COMPANY FOR A BONER THAT LASTED FOR TWO YEARS

VN:R_U [1.9.1_1087]
+6 (6 votes)

I read on line that a 52 year old gentleman is suing BMV and a motorcycle seat company because he got a boner that lasted almost two years after a four hour ride on his motorcycle.

He alleges that the unwanted perpetual hard on developed because of the configuration of the seat and the long motorcycle ride. He is claiming damages to cover lost wages for two years, medical expenses and emotional distress. He states this condition was diagnosed by a physician who related the motorcycle and the seat were directly responsible for a 24-7 erection. They diagnosed him with priapism. A permanent boner can also be caused from Viagra, anti-psychotic medications and from sickle cell anemia.

His hard on eventually subsided, but now he cannot get an erection which is just as traumatic.

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